Wimbledon Must Gag the Grunting in Women’s Tennis

MIKE Comic 145 Grunting

Never knew tennis was such an obnoxiously loud sport.

I always thought tennis, especially professional women’s tennis, was dignified, cultured and relatively quiet with polite clapping for pretty pony-tailed girls sporting shapely short skirts.

Well, that’s NOT the tennis I experienced yesterday from my $2,500 seat at Wimbledon. Not even an edict from the Queen of England could drown out the irritating racket on the court below.

My only expectation of noise at a tennis match was the bop of the ball off the racquet or the squeak of sneaks on the hard true surface. But, I never anticipated the unanticipated grating, grunting and groaning of a statuesque Russian blond careening around the court.

Witnessing this Canon Camera Cover Girl attempt to methodically manage her match on the slippery Wimbledon surface sounded like a wounded deer extricating itself from a bear trap. Oddly, every serve seemed like the Queen of Scream’s last.

Grunting doesn’t add another 25 mph to your serve and doesn’t perfectly place a return volley. I’m happy with the WTA’s plan to levy fines on any volleying vixen who punishes her opponents and fans alike with gruesome grunts and groans instead of exemplary play.

I’m all for cheering on pretty pony-tailed girls sporting shapely short skirts, but let me be clear that the grunting’s gotta go in tennis!

After yesterday’s obnoxiously loud match between Sharapova and Portugal’s Michelle Larcher DeBrito, even the ever so polite British fans at Wimbledon’s center court would agree that a swift gag order on grunting is long overdue.

That’s why the subjet of grunting starts my FREE book titled Worst About Sports!

MIKE – aka Mike Raffone – thee ultimate talking head on sports!

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