(Satire) It’s Earth Day today.
To celebrate, I’m going green.
Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not a left leaning, hybrid driving, granola crunching, tree hugging environmentalist. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
I’m going green the way a true sports fan should go green.
No, I’m not measuring my carbon footprint or recycling my toilet paper.
Instead, as a die hard sports fan and now nationally syndicated sports columnist, I’m creating my own Earth Day tradition.
I’m celebrating in a way that will make not only make Mother Nature proud, but is sure to impress Commissioners Roger Goodell, Adam Silver, Rob Manfred as well as the NCAA.
How am I doing this?
I just purchased an awesome green and yellow Green Bay Packer Titletown hoodie; a kelly green Boston Celtics sweatshirt and a hunter green Michigan State University tee shirt with an official Sparty logo on its sleeve.
Plus, all the officially licensed merchandise is certified hand made on pedal-push sewing machines using organically grown cotton.
I’m told the products will be delivered to NFL, MLB and NBA warehouses by socially sensitive, shorter- shower-taking vegetarians who will transport the merchandise by fervent anti-fossil fuel cyclists.
As far as I’m concerned, this is the way a true sports fan goes green to formally celebrate Earth Day…
…while Mother Nature smiles!
MIKE – thee ultimate talking head on sports!