Worst Position in Sports: Hiking a Football

Hiking a football is without doubt the worst position in sports!

I came to this conclusion watching the Monday Night Football game between the Patriots & Colts earlier this week.

While calling this contest from the comfort of my broadcast booth, I suddenly realized just how much I subconsciously scrunch away from the exchange between a center and quarterback on the football field. Every time I see a center break the huddle, rumble a few yards to the line of scrimmage, then bend over and fondle a motionless football on the ground like it’s some precious package pining for protection . . . I unwittingly find my grill grimacing, my bowtie tightening and my body (well, in my case, just my head) borrowing into my base. Eeek!!!

Allow me to philosophize about these facts surrounding the hiking of a football:

First, in nearly every play, immediately after hiking the football, nearly 3,000 pounds of snarling, sweating linemen pile on top of the center’s body.

Second, unless he’s in the shotgun formation, the quarterback’s hands are way too close to the hiker’s unmentionables.

Third, the only body part of a center that ever shows up on camera is a wide angle close up of his big ‘ole butt…well, that is, unless he’s flagged for holding…in which case every football fan in America gets to see his mug shot – while the ref marches the embarassed culprit’s team back another 10 yards.

Yup, hiking a football…the worst position in sports!

Straight talk. No static.

MIKE – aka Mike Raffone – thee ultimate talking head on sports!


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