2 Cent Tuesday: Why Baseball Confuses Me

confusing baseball termsToday’s 2 Cent Tuesday sports blog focuses on why the sport of baseball confuses me.

And, I don’t think I’m alone.

That’s why I compiled a list of befuddling bits of baseball banalities that probably confound you, too.

My list ranges from confusing baseball language to well known idiosyncrasies that comprise our country’s favorite past time.

Here’s my top 10 list of quirky baseball peculiarities that I find inexplicable at times and proving why baseball confuses me.

10. Why call baseball’s foul pole a foul pole when it’s located in fair territory? The reference reminds me of the late George Carlin’s comedic line about driving on a parkway and parking on a driveway.

9. Why’s a stolen base called a stolen base when the base runner never gets to take it home or even pawn what he just pilfered? Just call it a newly occupied base instead.

8. Why doesn’t Major League Baseball completely eliminate the on deck circle? Have you ever seen an on deck batter actually stand in the on deck circle? Grounds crews should just ignore the area completely and save their white chalk for something worthwhile.

7. Why do fans tolerate baseball’s heckler who’s got a real bull horn for a voice box with no off switch? Why does this bloviating and irritating fan think that behaving like a jerk is a good thing?

the heckler6. Why do rotund baseball managers insist on wearing team uniforms that look like spray-on Halloween costumes? You never saw Phil Jackson wearing his old Knicks short shorts on the Lakers bench?

5. Why do players insist on poking their packages and adjusting their private parts when every fan is watching the action on their over sized high def TV in the comfort of their living room?

4. At a unit cost of 75 cents a dot, why do TINY frozen Dippin’ Dots you can only get at a game put such a HUGE hole in your wallet?

3. Stupid baseball statistics. Who cares how many times lefties born in Midwestern states to blond haired mothers whose brother’s uncle’s neighbor’s insurance salesman’s sister played AAA for the Yankees in 1997 whiff during rain delayed night games in August?

2. Why do clueless fans always stand in the 7th inning belting out the tune “Take Me out to the Ball Game” when we all know they’ve been there in the park for the previous six innings?

1. Why call a catcher’s testicular protector a cup when no sane person would EVER consider drinking from it?

I’m certain there’s more readers can add to my list of why baseball confuses me.

And, that’s my 2 cents about why baseball confuses me.

I’d love to hear about some of the befuddling bits of baseball banalities that confound and confuse you, too. Email me at mikeonsports@yahoo.com.

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MIKE – thee ultimate talking head on sports!

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