Until I watched coverage of the US Open Women’s Tennis action last night, I never thought tennis was such an obnoxiously loud sport.
I always thought tennis, especially professional women’s tennis, was dignified, cultured and relatively quiet with polite clapping for pretty pony-tailed girls sporting shapely short skirts.
Well, that’s NOT the tennis I experienced while watching a couple pretty girls square off against each other at the US Open.
The normally distracting drone of JFK jets overhead couldn’t drown out the irritating racket on the court below.
My only expectation of noise at a tennis match was the bop of the ball off the racquet or the squeak of sneaks on the hard true surface. But, I never anticipated the unanticipated grating, grunting and groaning of a statuesque Russian blond careening around the court.
Witnessing Victoria Azarenka methodically manage her match sounded like a wounded deer extricating itself from a bear trap. Oddly, every serve seemed like the Belarusian’s last.
Grunting doesn’t add another 25 mph to your serve and doesn’t perfectly place a return volley. I’m happy with the WTA’s plan to levy fines on any volleying vixen who punishes her opponents and fans alike with gruesome grunts and groans instead of exemplary play.
I’m all for cheering on pretty pony-tailed girls sporting shapely short skirts, but let me be clear that the grunting’s gotta go in tennis!
That’s why grunting in tennis starts my FREE sports comic book title Worst About Sports!
Click on the yellow cover to safely download Worst About Sports!
MIKE – thee ultimate talking head on sports!