Today’s #TBT sports blog rewinds the clock several years to a satirical piece I penned in 2011 about Nike recalling Tim Tebow’s new cross training shoes.
Many Tebow fans may have genuinely believed the former Florida Gator’s new Nikes really don’t leave actual footprints in the sand.
(Satire) Facing extreme pressure from both special interest groups and the United States Government, Nike plans to recall its new limited edition Tim Tebow Air Trainers.
The blue and orange Tim Tebow endorsed shoes, which sold out on nikestore.com in 5 minutes last week, sparked a firestorm of protests.
Among the disgruntled groups were:
Southern Baptists, calling for a boycott of the sneaker giant, expressed outrage at Nike for naming the new Tebow shoe Air Trainer 1.2 instead of John 3:16.
Jesse Jackson, threatening to picket Denver Broncos’ home games this season, assailed Nike for failing to offer similar shoe deals to other NFL left handed, Heisman Trophy winning back-up quarterbacks of color.
Pro Choice groups, still steaming from the QB’s Pro Life Super Bowl ad earlier this year, protested that the Tebow endorsed shoes infringe upon a woman’s constitutional right to choose. Pro Choicers plan to boycott not only Nike, but also Jockey, Bible makers and all other products associated with the evangelical NFL rookie.
The ACLU, claiming the Promise decal on the shoes’ heel is another Tebow attempt to proselytize his faith, filed suit in Federal Court against the NFL to protect every American football fan’s fundamental right to separation of church and football, I mean, state.
Finally, Homeland Security, reporting that any purchaser who actually wore the new Tebow shoes demonstrated an ability to walk on water while leaving no discernible footprints in the sand. That shocking news forced Homeland to raise its Threat Level to Red. The Department feared that terrorists would go undetected if they wore the new Tim Tebow shoes.
However, NCAA and NFL players quickly challenged Homeland Security’s charge by offering, “The new Tebow shoes may not leave footprints in the sand, but when the bruising 235 lb. QB runs over you on the goal line, they definitely leave cleat marks on your forehead.”
MIKE on sports!