I just caught up with the Kardashians.
How ironic! A month ago I had absolutely no idea what a Kardashian was. But now I do…even though I wish I never did…catch up with a Kardashian that is.
OK, sports fans, with the Saints’ recent Super Bowl success and the Lakers looming large to repeat as NBA Champs, the name Kardashian has become synonymous with sports.
Because a Kardashian is someone who has mastered a new sport; namely, Gold Digging for Athletes!
Lusting for luxurious lifestyles and seeking second-rate celebrity status, Khloe and Kim Kardashian have struck gold.
Yes, the Kardashian girls have hit the motherlode with Khloe landing Laker Lamar Odom in an E! sponsored wedding and Kim reuniting with Saints Running Back Reggie Bush.
These two reality show drama divas demonstrate for shiny toothed, buxom babes everywhere that there’s a fortune to be had in sports . . . even if you don’t play one.
To keep up with these Kardashians and become a Kardashian yourself, just follow these simple gold digging guidelines:
SHUT OUT…any discussions of ever having to work a real job.
GO DEEP. .. into the wallets of multi-million dollar athletes.
FAST BREAK…to an MTV crib you’ve never contributed a dime to build.
KNOCK OUT…your new man’s Platinum Card balance while shopping on Rodeo Drive.
TOUCH DOWN . . . in your hubby’s private jet and step out on his red-carpeted runway.
The tawdry tale of gold digging as sport won’t be fully told for another decade or so…’til these dabbling divas’ vocabulary fails to evolve past manicures, pedicures, texting and clubbing, and their men desire to discuss details other than shopping, shopping & more shopping.
When the clock winds down (and it will), we’ll be able to test the long term carat value -10, 14 or 24 carat, that is – of this sport known as Gold Digging for Athletes. Unless there’s some true burnishing going on and the players refine some nuggets within themselves, we might learn that Lamar and Reggie don’t want to extend the game. . . in which case, “keeping up with the Kardashians” will be a short-lived sport after all.
Straight Talk. No static.
MIKE – thee American made voice on sports!