Without a fleet of blockers in front of them, my top 10 favorite football clichés easily rush into the #23 spot in Best About Sports.
These ridiculous and sometimes exaggerated expressions capture the way we like to describe teams, plays and games.
They’re all couched in the language of metaphors and hyperbole, but sports fans easily relate.
How funny would it be if these figurative football clichés were actually taken literally?
The following is an excerpt from my FREE sports comic book Best About Sports.
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Check out my coveted top 10 list:
10. The quarterback’s pass was a wounded duck – Much to the dismay of animal rights activists everywhere, this football cliché offers fans a perfect word picture of a quarterback under-throwing an open receiver with a wobbly, barely flight ready pass resembling an injured duck.
9. The other team is icing the kicker – It would definitely be a hoot watching a bunch of defenders dipping the other team’s kicker into a frozen pond?
8. The quarterback has a rifle for an arm – Anti-gun lobbyists wouldn’t be too happy about this one. Imagine seeing a player load a rifle or in this case his “arm” as he drops back to pass during a nationally televised game.
7. The quarterback has happy feet – I’d love to see athletically gifted quarterbacks like Russell, Cam Newton and Ty Taylor dancing around the pocket while musical notes rather than pieces of grass and dirt would form a wake behind their feet.
5. As seen in this blog’s comic, coaches always encourage their players to follow the game plan, don’t rush and always take what the defense gives them. Yet, these surprised players weren’t actually expecting flowers, candy and a gift box with a bow on it.
4. The fullback is pushing the pile – Instead of diving head first like a battering ram into a pile of linemen, imagine a 6’2” and 250 lb. blocking fullback actually pushing a gigantic pile of dirt and stones with helpless defenders atop it into the end zone. Priceless.
3. The running back coughed up the football – What a sight this one would be. Picture a fast and quick NFL running back, crouched down on his hands and knees. A series of retching up chucks a slimy football onto the grass.
2. The defense flushed the quarterback out of the pocket – I’d love to see a bunch of linebackers and defensive backs handling giant fire hoses pointed at the opposing team’s quarterback. Their objective is met as he’s washed away on his butt farther down the football field.
1. The defense just buried the quarterback – As players from both teams stand somberly around the grave site holding shovels, can you imagine a group of big, burly defensive linemen lowering a casket with the opposing team’s quarterback in it?
The expressions above represent only 10 of the countless football cliches that sports fans utilize every weekend when they tune into an NFL or NCAA game. Maybe I overlooked your favorite cliche.
Write me at firstname.lastname@example.org if you have a few favorite football cliches that you believe should be on my list.
You might see your picks in my next book on what’s Best About Sports Volume 2.
MIKE – thee ultimate talking head on sports!