Cincinnati Bengal WR Chad Ochocinco Changing Name Again (Satire)

(Satire) In a surprise move, Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chad Ochocinco is legally changing his name for a second time.

At first, speculation surfaced that the mercurial No. 85 was reverting to his originally given birth name, Chad Javon Johnson.

However, upon further review, NFL officials quickly learned that in light of another listless, over-hyped NFL season, the former Dancing With The Stars contestant with three million Twitter followers will officially change his name to Non-Factor. 

Following the lead of the formerly known Ochocinco, once referred to as Chad Johnson, but now called Non-Factor, three other high-profile NFL celebrities have also succumbed to overwhelming pressure from NFL fans and shortened their names to one-word monikers.

Terrell Owens, Ochocinco’s Cincinnati Bengals teammate and Versus reality television show sidekick, following an equally disappointing NFL season, formally changed his name to Non-Factor 2. 

Rex Ryan, bombastic braggart and New York Jets head coach, following his personally disappointing second straight AFC Championship Game loss, now simply goes by Windbag. 

And Brett Favre, once legendary, now ridiculed and hopefully finally retired QB, has legally filed paperwork in Aaron Rodgers‘s adopted town of Green Bay, Wisconsin to Quickly-4-gotten. 

Straight talk. No static. 

MIKE—thee American made voice on sports!

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