2014 Sochi Winter Olympics are Over: My Memory of Curling is Not

The 2014 Sochi Winter Olympic Games is officially over, but my memory of the Olympic winter “sport” of curling is not.

It haunts me like an Alex Rodriguez toothy, fake smile and a pompous, pontificating Ray Lewis comment.

Following the hilarious hammer throw at the 2012 Summer Olympic Games in London, I never imagined that my sports viewing standards could sink any lower.

Well, that’s until I caught the comedic competition called curling at this year’s 2014 Winter Olympic Games in Sochi, Russia.

Sure, I realize the Winter Olympics are officially over. But, the bizarre sight of skinny Norwegians sporting flashy harlequin pants while swooshing plastic kitchen brooms across an ice skating rink
has been burnished in my memory.

Who on planet Earth, other than their mothers, would ever consider these swashbuckling Nordic Broadway wannabes true Olympians?

Just how inebriated were IOC members when they sanctioned curling as an Olympic sport? It even got me thinking.

If curling is an official Winter Olympic sport, could ice fishing, snowman building and snow angel making be very far behind?

Word has it that on the slushy, just-about-snowless Russian hills in Sochi that, after watching the curling competition, frisbee golfers and beer pongers begun petitioning the IOC for official sanctioning in the 2016 Rio Summer Olympics.

Is it just me or do you also view curling as scandalously skirting the sanctity of sports by not requiring even the remotest semblance of athleticism?

Let’s be honest. Have you ever heard anybody say, “I’m playing in a real competitive inner-city curling league this season?”

Or, “Who will you pick as your sweeper in next season’s Fantasy Curling League?”

Or, worse yet, “Let’s run on over to Dick’s Sporting Goods! I hear they just stocked their shelves with latest curling gear, and their curling broom assortment is awesome!”

As far as I’m concerned, any sport that rhymes with twirling can’t possibly be any good at all. Enough of this nonsense!

All this talk of curling makes me think about hurling my lunch!

MIKE – thee American made voice on sports!

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